Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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