Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
my being single is dangerous.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
