she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
