I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
In other news, I just burned my penis
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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