Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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