I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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