I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
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There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
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I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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