this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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