Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
