We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.