You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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