Sry I called you an 8
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
