Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
