So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
