is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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