Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Sober January is a disaster.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
