I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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