plz talk dirty to me
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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