Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
