Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
