i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize