I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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