You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
