Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
