you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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