OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
