Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
