What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Randomize
