i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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