did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Acid is not a monday night drug
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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