just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
