i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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