I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
