did you get engaged???
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize