I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
