Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
