Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
