it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
