I'm gonna have a badass scar
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
