So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
