Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
