we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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