Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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