Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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