hotel room ftw
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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