So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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