i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
