This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
