Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Another day, another engagement, another cat
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
