i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
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