And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
