like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
