you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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