That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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