idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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