If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.